Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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