I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
