whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize