Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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