this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
