I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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