I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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