I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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