He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
