Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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