btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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