Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
