He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
