if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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