Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
how does that bad decision feel?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
