ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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