It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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