Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
