like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
