she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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