but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Randomize
