Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
