im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
no more duck duck goose at the bar
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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