using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
