so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
