"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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