im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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