You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
