There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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