im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Please don't give away my fajitas
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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