this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
