Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Come share oat with me in your robe
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
