Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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