I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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