Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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