It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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