plz talk dirty to me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
