I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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