i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
