My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
