Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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