My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
