did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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