Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I could make wine with my vomit
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
