? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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