What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
