The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
