Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
