there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
