The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
