she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize