allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
