its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dick very happy bro
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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