peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize