The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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