my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
