it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
