I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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