is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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