It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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