only if we run a train.
done.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Never joke about your clitoris.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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