you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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