was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
two words...techno handjob
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
So. Much. Porn.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
