Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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