dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I am naked and annoyed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize